Hello, my name is Monica E. I would love to share my story with you and any women who would be encouraged by my journey. I have inserted some photos as well.
“And I will give you a new heart — I will give you new and right desires — and put a new spirit within you. I will take out your stony hearts of sin and give you new hearts of love.” Ezekiel 36:26
My story begins in 2013, when my husband and I decided to grow our family. After a few months of TTC we found out we were expecting, I will never forget the joy and love I felt instantly for my child. Shortly after we found out we were expecting, I miscarried my first baby. I was beyond devastated...there are no words to describe the pain and loss of miscarriage. My faith in a loving Father was the only thing that carried me through that time. A couple of months later, I found out I was expecting yet again, I was so worried I would be overcome with fear because of what happened only a short couple of months previous. To my surprise, I felt the same joy and instantaneous love for my second child. I carried this baby 4 weeks further than I had my first to hear the heart shattering news at my next ultrasound appointment that there was no longer a heartbeat. A couple of days later I miscarried my second baby. I remember being so broken crying on my bathroom floor and all I could say was "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, blessed be the name of the Lord". I didn't get to hold my babies in my arms, but they will forever be held in my heart. These are the things that make heaven sweeter. I know one day I will get to hold my precious gifts from God.
After a few months, we decided to pursue another desire of our hearts and become foster parents. Shortly after we were licensed we had two little boys placed with us, my heart was so full. After a short time, the boys left our home and again, such loss.
Ten days later, unknown to me at the time, My miracle baby was placed in my arms.A beautiful, 11 week old baby girl. The love and attachment I felt to her was instant and I couldn't imagine life without her. Foster care is such a difficult process, on one hand the journey is long, challenging and unknown. On the other, what a reward!! How precious to be entrusted with children who are over comers and get to share the love of the Lord with them! The journey with my miracle baby was so unknown, fifteen months of uncertainty. Every day I got to love her, be her mama, and watch her defy and overcome obstacles, developmental delays and health issues.
Motherhood has its ups and downs. My sweet baby is 21 months and has only slept through the night a handful of times. There are days I want to complain, but then I remember not so long ago I would have given anything for a sleepless night to have a baby in my arms. I am thankful for these life interruptions and am reminded that I loved, wanted, prayed for and desired this baby girl when all hope seemed lost. Covered in prayer, supported by friends and family and loved by her mama, she overcame! I adopted my sweet girl at the age of 17 months after 15 months of unknowns every minute of every day. She is my greatest joy and my biggest blessing. God filled such a wound I had carried, with giving me this girl for her time here on earth. He reminds me that she is ultimately His and that he has entrusted me with her for a short time. My miracle baby is now 21 months old, healthy, happy and developmentally on target. She is such a fighter and an encouragement to me every day. She is my reason for everything I do.